Connecting The Dots

I just found myself google searching The Walrus and the Carpenter. I read about the sun's mighty shining, the moon's sulking shining and the sea's wet wetness. But eventually the question "why" sprung up in my mind. Why did I decide to spend precious time researching nonsense. Time for some detective work.

Playing the day back in my mind I realized I had been thinking dilligently about walruses and carpenters during lunch time. While working on my panorama I was contimplating the likelihood of me catching a walrus and riding it out to sea, like a cowboy rides a bull. (This could be fun.)

I delved further into my memory. At some time this morning between 5:30 and 7:30 I had a strange dream. I was walking along a boardwalk that actually sank into the swells of the sea. The ocean was full of activity: a scuba diver watching a sting ray, a dolphin in the distance, an abundance of kelp, and a hammerhead shark battling what I called an elephant seal in my dream, but upon review was probably a walrus. I watched, enthralled, as the walrus beat the shark and ate it in one bite. Then I was horrified as the boardwalk sank towards the angered walrus.

What causes dreams? I mean really, why on earth would I be dreaming about things like that? My mind is devoted to rocks and rocks alone (riiiiight.) Maybe it was a rock walrus? I blame Spiritus Mundi.

Life Lessons From The Pasture

I received a book of poetry as a reward for completing the 10th grade. While thumbing through it this morning I came across the poem that changed my life and my brother's. It really is our favorite poem. Except maybe for "The Owl and the Pussy Cat." Ok. I've thought about it. I like that one better.

Three Ponies
~Arthur Guiterman

Three little ponies who didn't like their hay
Said to each other "Let's run away!"
Said the first "I will canter!"
Said the second "I will trot!"
Said the third "I will run if it's not too hot!"

And they all started off
With their tails in the air.
But they couldn't jump the fence
So they're all still there.

(It helps to read it in a British accent.)

Oh What A Way To Start The New Year

I have got to stop falling in love with people who drive Black Saturn Ions. In a delirious half-sleep induced stupor last night I wrote a song to remind me of this fact. I'd sing it for you, but that's a treat I save solely for my adoring fans (a quartet of purple unicorns). Needless to say the tune is really catchy. Britney Spears contacted me about covering it for her next single.

Black Saturn Ion

Black Saturn Ion, if this was the pantheon
You'd be a tiger that I'd gladiate.
Black Saturn Ion, the crowd would cheer on
I'd have no weapons, you claws and teeth.
Black Saturn Ion the fight wouldn't last long
I would fall down and play dead

Black Saturn Ion
Then the Roman soldiers would stone me
Say "Have some irony you dirty hippie"
If this was the pantheon.

But haha! Black Saturn Ion
This isn't the pantheon, you are just a car.
I'm no gladiator, but I can rip out your radiator
then you wouldn't get too far.

Obviously there are some errors. Like I never mention what type of tiger... Siberian? Indian? Detroit? But if you thought the star of the county Down was the gem of Ireland's crown you were wrong. It's this song.

Sorry that ill placed humor is my coping mechanism. Love the drivers, hate the car.

6

I miss you. I love you. I still think about you every day.

Vindication

This is my new favorite site. This picture, especially, has the best comments.

Impersonation Gets You Everywhere In Life

In the same vein as vain Mr. Ego's blog (see what I did there? ahh, humor) this purpose of this post is to review media that I have been exposed to. While I didn't seek out this movie, I found myself addicted through just the title. In fact, I was walking out the door when I heard just what my roommate was watching on Lifetime.


OK, I gave it away, it was a Lifetime movie. They're pretty addictive. But just wait for the title...





Are you ready?





I don't think you're ready...



OK.


The Haunting of Sorority Row.

The HAUNTING of Sorority Row.

The Haunting of SORORITY ROW!

(This was me channeling Ashley)


While there were glaring errors in the representation of sorority life, I give this movie five stars out of five.

Apparently this sorority, the most popular on campus, is so exclusive it only has 3 members and 4 pledges. This is unfortunate when the sisters start dying and 1 of the pledges is actually a wraith that has returned from the netherworld to exact revenge having died during hazing activities the previous year. (I probably would have opted for death too, dues must have been through the roof!)

A far cry from a perfect example of sorority life, the movie serves a greater purpose. To inform, teach, and leave the viewer with life's most important moral: always knowingly confront a demonic wraith trying to kill your soon to be sorority president because she kept you from eating a dip you are allergic to.

Also, demonic wraiths can be turned to the light by showing them their engagement ring. (What are you trying to say about sorority girls Lifetime?)

Ah, the beauty of life. Especially Greek life.

All I can say is watch this movie unless you hate all things fun, making you the stupidest person on the face of the planet (Back to being Mr. Ego)

Now for Jolene-- MASON! maybe Maybelline? yes...? pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? I'm going to get her anyway.

yurt.

How Hard Could It Be...

to keep a cloth bag in your car?

I won't lie, I laughed at the slide "Bags get blown around..." but sometimes you have to state the obvious.

Welcome to America--where convenience is valued over conservation.